


Now It's Time To Be Gone, Forever

by Arminarmoutt



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Cats, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Apocalypse, Roger being a hysterical queen, future tags to be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 14:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16599887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arminarmoutt/pseuds/Arminarmoutt
Summary: In the aftermath of a world ravaged by war, four people have an unlikely meeting that will change the future of the world.Aka the Queen apocalypse AU that no one asked for





	1. Brian and Roger

Years ago, war ravaged the earth. Little is known of how it started, but the end is clear from the flattened buildings and savage wilderness that has taken its claim once more. Humanity still struggles to regain what it is that makes them human and to establish societies even now, hundreds of years after their fall.

Cities were built, but unlike before, they were made to contain. Thick, tall walls lined them, and, like bars on cages, provided no comfort that their captors insisted was there. Guards sat atop them, not letting danger in and not letting the imprisoned out. 

Each one was was ruled differently, some lords were benevolent, feeding the people before themselves. Unfortunately, this was not a common method of rule. Many lords poisoned their people with their own greed, fattened up with ego and power. The towns people, starving and sick, could do nothing, lest they face punishment.

One particular city sat in the middle of these two extremes. Smaller than average, this community housed just four thousand people, but that would soon change.

"Look Brian, things are changing and you know it." Roger said, standing up. This was the third argument about this they had had this week.

Brian sighed, he was beyond tired with this particular little squabble Roger kept on starting. "Yes Roger, that usually happens from time to time. We've been through this, your being irrational." 

Brian saw the shorter man take in a deep breath of frustration and turn to face him, "it's more than that, they are getting stricter, employing more guards, putting more people in prison. And I know you've noticed the rations getting smaller..." it was true, they'd been given less food and water to last the week, Brian had put it down to unfruitful crops. That was certainly the more logical explanation...

Roger carried on, "and, I hear it's happening to other cities as well, places miles away." Roger spoke with much conviction. Nevertheless, Brian persisted.

"And where did you get that information? I doubt anyone else in this city has as much of a clue as we do." Brian noticed Roger falter for a moment, deciding what his reply would be.

"I heard that Tim has been talking with someone who sneaked in here from another city. And before you ask, no, I have no proof, but it's worth not just dismissing." Roger finished, seeming stronger in his resolve.

Brian felt a twinge of anger at other people making his friend so worried. Brian rose and approached Roger, wanting to end this once and for all. "So you're going to trust Tim bloody Staffell and get yourself into a state for what, so you can just worry until something happens? Please Roger, just let it go." Brian put his hand on Roger's shoulder as his tone softened at the last few words.

That, however, seemed to increase Roger's own anger, shown by him pushing Brian's hand off. "Tim _bloody_ Staffell is our friend- well mine anyway. And I trust him, because unlike you, he has some common fucking sense to try and do something when things look like they're about to go to shit." Roger waved his arms as he spoke, punctuating his words and waited for Brian's response.

Brian let out a huff of disbelieving laughter in response to Roger's words. "You trust Tim more than me, Tim who once said that he got off with the lord's daughter- he doesn't even have a daughter! What's got your head up his arse all of a sudden?Seriously Roger, what are you doing?" Brian thought the joke might lighten the atmosphere, he realised he was wrong when Roger sucked in a large breath of anger.

"I'm leaving Brian! That's what I'm fucking doing!" Roger's stare bore into Brian's eyes.

The taller man stood in shocked silence for a moment before speaking in a more serious voice, "you're- you're doing what?"

Roger looked away, seeming more vulnerable. "I'm leaving the city. With Tim." He shifted his eyes again, still not looking at Brian. "He's got a few friends that were planning on leaving Saturday." Roger swallowed out of guilt and flinched a little as Brian took a large breath, releasing it slowly. "I'm sorry Brian, I was-"

Saturday. That was three days away. Three days until Roger would flee. Three days notice that his best friend would leave the only home they had ever known and possibly get killed in the process. Three days.

An overwhelming rush of anger, sorrow, and fear filled Brian completely, making him dizzy with the force. He looked down. "Three fucking days Roger." Roger finally looked up at Brian, guilt filling his face at the sound of Brian's breathless, disbelieving voice. 

Roger took a step closer, Brian could tell that a million apologies were at the tip of his tongue. That is when Brian had to make a decision. He knew there was no changing Roger's mind, he never liked being cooped up, and he was now given a chance to escape the cage he had been in his whole life. Brian couldn't blame him. But now he had to decide whether to choose his home or his friend. The question was answered as soon as it entered his mind.

"Brian I-" Roger started again.

"You give me only three days to pack? Really?" He said with a tug up at the side of his mouth.

"Wait, what?" Roger said, confusion mixed with a sliver of hope.

Brian looked up and into Roger's eyes, a weird mixture of happiness, sadness, and fear fluttering in his stomach. "If your going on a suicide mission, I'd better damn well be there by your side, you idiot." Brian lifted his head, no longer hiding behind his curls.

Roger took in a small gasp of breath before he, too, smiled a bright smile. "You had me there Brian, I thought I'd hurt your feelings." He joked, much more himself.

Brian smiled warmly. "Yeah, like you weren't about to burst into tears at the thought of leaving without me." Brian joked, Roger scrunched up his face in laughter and playfully punched him lightly on the shoulder.

They both stayed in a state of disbelief and delirium for a few minutes as their minds processed what was happening and what would happen in three days.

The mood turned slightly more serious, Roger stepped back to look Brian in the eyes. "Thanks Bri, really." He gave the taller man a small smile.

Brian returned the smile, and simply replied, "let's start packing."


	2. John

John couldn't believe he was doing this, this was the most dangerous, irresponsible thing he could have done. Yet he was doing it anyway. He was with a group of seven, him being the youngest at just nineteen. Nineteen and possibly going to his death.

It had started about four months ago, John had noticed a slight dip in rations, it was small at first, just a carrot or two missing. He had tried not to get suspicious, to not overthink. But the rations kept on getting smaller.

Next it was the increase in guards. The lord of his city was better than some, but even he had seemed to tighten security. The increase was gradual but the amount of guards had almost doubled after a few months. 

People had begun to get suspicious, some even attempted to leave. The firing of arrows discouraged others that would follow in their wake. Some still tried to leave, maybe some had escaped, John didn't know.

This was when he had heard from a friend that a group of kids were going to leave. John had dismissed the idea at first, but the more he thought about it, the more he was considering joining them. 

After a while, he figured that if security got any tighter, there would be no option to escape if he changed his mind. John then decided that he didn't want to see how much smaller the rations would get.

He couldn't tell his family. They had made it clear that the people who tried to escape were getting what was coming to them. He wondered if they would think the same for him.

Before he left, he needed supplies. He had saved up some food and water over the past week that would last him a few days on the outside. The other thing he packed was a crude first aid kit which contained bandages made from his clothes that didn't fit anymore, as well as alcohol for disinfection amongst other handy things.

There were a few other things that John decided to pack. These things were rarities that he never dared to touch before. His father had a valuable collection of intact batteries and circuit boards. John didn't know whether he would use them or not, but if he was in a tricky situation, these would trade for a weeks worth of food at least.

He still had a few hours before he left and not a lot to do. Out of habit, he went into his room and picked up his bass. He strummed a few chords, he had an odd type of sadness at the thought of leaving it. He took in the feel of the strings under his fingers, trying to imprint the feeling into his fingers.

Wanting to stray from the sadness he played the few riffs he actually knew, dancing along with the beat and smiling without a care.

He felt tired after a time, and thought it would be better to conserve his energy for the escape. His parents would be home soon, he wanted to preferably avoid them, lest his mind be changed with the thought of not seeing them again. With that in mind, he pinned the two paged letter he'd written for them to the inside of the front door. 

Taking a deep breath, he left his house for the last time.

The town was the same as it always was, the comforting noise of chatter, people on their way home from work. John might miss this.

But now was no time to dwell on what would soon be gone. It was time to think of the future. Adjusting the straps of his backpack, he walked around the city, to nowhere in particular.

Once the sun was setting, John stopped his wander, and headed to Tim's house. Knocking on the door he patiently waited for him to answer.

Tim opened the door and roughly shoved John into the house. "Looks like we got another one joining us." He said to the group. John felt slightly disoriented from being pulled, the six pairs of eyes didn't help his comfort either. Fortunately, the eyes left him as a whispered conversation started.

"Where the hell are May and Taylor? We're going to miss it if they don't hurry." The single girl of the group said in an anxious and angry tone.

Tim looked back to the door for a few seconds, before sighing and looking back, "it's their loss, we need to go. Now." The group picked up their bags and sneaked out the back door, Tim leading and John at the back. It was safe to say he wasn't as mentally prepared as he thought. It felt like he was going to war.

They hid behind a house right by the wall and waited for a few moments. John didn't know what they were waiting for until he saw the guards pack up and move. They were changing shifts. 

The group crouched, running quietly. Tim lifted up a flap of metal, making sure everyone got through before going in himself. 

The wall was so thick that the group could all fit semi-comfortably in the space between. Tim addressed the whole group and John felt his heart in his throat. "Okay, we run in three,

Two,

One,

Go!"

All thoughts left John's mind as he ran for his life, for a few moments there was a fearful peace. The calm before the storm. the guards atop the wall had now clearly realised as arrows narrowly missed John's body. The fear and adrenaline made him run faster. The girl from earlier let out a deafening scream as she fell to the ground. John was now sprinting with wide eyes and tears streaming down his face, his body felt numb and his head hurt.

John was still running and he had lost the rest of the group along the way. His morale was wavering until he saw a small cave in a hill. With newly found hope, he ran a bit faster. 

He removed the thin piece of metal that was covering it and took a deep sigh as he entered. He sat down and rested his head on something he assumed was a rock in the darkness.

He was mistaken, however, as the "rock" slumped to the floor.

John let out a silent scream as his eyes adjusted to the light and he saw a rotting body on the ground. Half of the man's face had decayed so badly that there were holes in his flesh. John recoiled in horror, shuffling back until his back hit the wall.

He spent minutes looking at the body, his mind not knowing what to do.

The cause of death was clear, he had been shot in the back with an arrow, probably by the guards. As John grew as comfortable as you could be, being with a dead body in a cave, he noticed a note in the corpses hand. Cautiously, he took the note, trying not to make contact with the cold, decaying skin. 

The note was messy and covered in blood, probably written while the man was dying. It read simply:

'GO TO ROCKFIELD'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rockfield? Hmmm sounds familiar wink wink nudge nudge


	3. Freddie

He took in a breath before dunking his head in the water. Heading to the river was the highlight of the week. He always allowed himself a swim after he had washed the food and replenished his drinking supply that was stored safely in his satchel. There, submerged in the water, he could almost imagine he was someone from before, maybe playing with his friends before heading home and having a nice cooked meal from his mother. As he ran out of air, he came up, shaking the water from his head and rubbing it out of his eyes, and with it, the dream. 

Freddie waded back to land, where he dressed. Picking up his satchel, he began his journey back. The path from the river was incredibly beautiful, wildflowers lined his path and the sound of rabbits in the undergrowth. During his walks, he liked to imagine he was traveling through his own fantasy world, inhabited by fairies and dragons and that he wasn't in a world of violence and fear. He imagined he had friends that were elves and centaur, that he was surrounded by a constant force of creativity and diversity instead of destruction and war.

The image was ripped from his mind as the sound of footsteps was heard. He instinctively crouched and readied his crossbow. 

Emerging from the bushes was not a human, but a doe. The elegant creature sniffed at the ground, eating some of the grass. Freddie slowly put his weapon back to its place and observed the beautiful deer. He shared a moment of solidarity with her, both alone in the world.

The solidarity was broken when he saw a smaller deer walk between the doe's legs. A child. For a moment, Freddie felt more alone than he had felt in a while. He let out a soft sigh, but smiled knowing that the doe wasn't facing the same loneliness that he was.

He stayed there for long minutes, waiting for the two deer to pass, as to not startle them. Then, with renewed spirit, walked home with a bit of a spring in his step.

When Freddie finally reached his building he climbed the stairs to the third floor. He, looked around to make sure no one was there, before picking up a stick resting on a wall. With some force, he lifted up a slab of metal on the ceiling, activating a mechanism which made it stay up. He then angled the stick as if to reach something. Letting out an "ah" of victory, he pulled the stick down. Following the stick came a ladder made of wood and rope.

Freddie climbed the ladder to the next floor, and reset the rope and metal. Sighing in relief, he took in his home.

He was immensely lucky he was able to find this place. He'd figured the person that lived there before had gotten killed and no one had discovered it for a while, the place was covered in dust when he had discovered it. 

The whole flat was surprisingly intact compared to most other buildings in the area, it seemed expensive too. The entirety of the two bedrooms were destroyed, as well as some of the kitchen, however, some of the cabinets were still useable. He went into said room, putting the fruit and veg into the cabinets that were intact. After the kitchen he went through to the living room, which acted as his bedroom, the sofa was more comfortable than you'd think. From the living room, he went to his favourite room in the whole flat. The music room.

The room was lined with all sorts of instruments, there were rows of guitars in one corner, surrounded by broken old amps. On one wall there was everything from violins to a grand double bass, unfortunately the cello was almost completely destroyed. Lodged in one corner was a full drum kit, and behind it was a cupboard with replacement symbols, sticks, heads, and even a gong of all things.

But his favourite thing about this room was the large black grand piano that sat beside a destroyed wall. It was a truly beautiful instrument. Freddie had dabbled with the other instruments, strumming on guitar. But this, this was a force he knew how to handle and control. He had replaced the keys, making crude wooden ones that stood out against the pure white and black. It still sounded beautiful though.

Sitting down on the stool, Freddie let his fingers wander over the keys, playing nothing in particular. For a moment he paused, fingers barely touching the instrument. He took a breath and started to play something.

His hands sprung to action as the fast beat flowed through his body and soon, he began to sing.

" _In the land where horses born with eagle wings_  
_And honey bees have lost their stings_  
_There's singing forever, ooh yeah_  
_Lion's den with fallow deer_  
_And rivers made from wine so clear_  
_Flow on and on forever_  
_Dragons fly like sparrows thru' the air_  
_And baby lambs where Samson dares_  
_To go on on on on on on_

_My fairy king can see things_  
_That are not there for you and me_  
_Ooh yeah_  
_My fairy king can do right and nothing wrong_

_Then came man to savage in the night_  
_To run like thieves and to kill like knives_  
_To take away the power from the magic hand_  
_To bring about the ruin to the promised land..."_

As Freddie continued to sing, he lost control of his body, his movements being guided by the music and pure emotion. 

When his song was finished he found himself out of breath and close to tears. Wiping his eyes, he looked out into the grassy ground below.

Movement caught his eye, there was someone there. Quickly, he ducked behind the wall. After a few moments he peaked back outside, trying to see who they were.

The person was male, he had long brown hair and seemed to be... tired? The boys feet dragged across the ground but after a few steps, he fell to his knees, holding his head.

Freddie usually avoided people, they only caused trouble, and by trouble, he meant they usually wanted to kill him. But this boy, he looked young, no older than twenty... he couldn't cause too much harm, could he?

Frustrated with his indecision, he got up and grabbed his bag and crossbow once more; he would decide whether to help the boy once he'd gotten closer.

Once he'd made his way to the ground, Freddie loaded his crossbow, crouching closer. The boy had his hands over his face and seemed to be swaying subconsciously. As to not scare him, Freddie stood to full height and allowed himself to make some noise.

The boy had a delayed flinch, and finally removed his hands from his face. Freddie noticed that his blinks were slow and his lips were very dry. Dehydration, then.

"What's a pretty lad like you doing in a place like this?" Freddie asked, crossbow still aimed at the boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, chapters should be weekly until exams roll around so check Thursdays or Fridays depending on your time zone :D


	4. Freddie and John

John fumbled when grabbing his pocket knife, and when he had it, it took him a few long moments to focus on the person in front of him. He'd run out of water yesterday, he'd thought he would come across a lake or something, but no, he had no such luck.

"What's a pretty lad like you doing in a place like this?" The stranger spoke, make John flinch, however delayed.

"I came from a city." He said simply, vision going blurry and yellow due to dehydration. 

The stranger spoke once more, "you keep on telling people that and you'll end up with an arrow in your back, darling." He said with a grim tone which was oddly lightened with the 'darling'. Before John could process much more, the man spoke again. "You're no use like this, get some water down you." John abruptly had a flask shoved in his hands. 

Despite his lack of water, John did have some common sense left. He looked up at the stranger with suspicion in his gaze. The man however, had an answer for that as well.

"It's not poisoned, love. If I wanted to kill you I'd use a knife. Much more effective than dodgy water." Before he could reply, the man pushed the flask up to John's mouth, forcing him to drink.

The moment the water touched his lips, John began drinking in earnest, feeling stronger with every gulp.

When the flask was finished, he wiped the excess water off his face, and gave a great full sigh. "Thank you" he said, standing up and looking the man in the eyes now that he could focus. Then, a thought came into his mind, "um, you wouldn't happen to know where a place called Rockfield is, would you?" The man broke their eye contact, looking to the side.

"That place won't be much use to you, it got raided months ago. There's nothing left." John huffed, debating his options. The strange man started gathering his things, and turned away from John, beginning to walk away.

"Wait," John said, before the stranger could take more than a few steps away. He turned to John, annoyance on his face. "You- you wouldn't happen to know any other places I could go to, a small community nearby perhaps?" He hoped the man would be able to guide him somewhere. Anywhere.

The stranger let out a semi-hysterical laugh and dragged a hand across his face. "You really are new at this aren't you?" He looked John up and down, pity in his eyes. "Look, there are no safe houses, no havens where everyone sings kumbaya around a cosy campfire and everyone sucks each other off." John blinked dopily at the crude statement before the man carried on, rising in anger, "this is it. In this life you walk around starving for food. You find accommodation if you're lucky, but even then you are constantly afraid of people even more starving than you finding your spot. People so hungry they could kill for food. And they have killed for food before, what's one more body to add if they can get a full stomach. You should have stayed in your nice city where you were fed from a silver spoon. You won't last a week out here." He finished. The man looked at John with anger and resentment, before prompting turning and walking away.

It took a few moments to take in the man's speech. It was clearly from the heart and he meant every word. He was someone with experience in this life, and he didn't kill John like he said that so many would. He would make a valuable friend now that John needed one. 

"I can't go back now." He said, pausing the strangers retreat. "I can't go back to my city now. They'll kill me, you know that." He stated, he saw the man's shoulders slump as he sighed. "I can't go back, so I have to adapt. I could do that a lot quicker with a friend." He propositioned, getting the man's attention.

"And why would I do that? Why would I be your friend?" He asked in a careful voice. John's intuition told him that this man was lonely, so lonely that he would take pity on a stranger that might kill him. He hoped he was right.

"You took pity on me. You didn't have to. You could have killed me and robbed my corpse, after all, I was fed from a silver spoon." He said, quoting the man's words back at him.

He'd clearly caught the strangers interest as he turned to face him. "I'm not one to let children starve. I don't even know your name, not to mention, if I did let give you shelter, how would I know that you wouldn't kill me in my sleep?" He questioned gravely, voice deepening from the light tone he had used before.

He thought for a moment, before replying, "John." He said simply, holding out his hand.

"What?" The man asked, eyebrows creasing in confusion.

"John Deacon. That's my name." The stranger tilted his head in contemplation.

The man returned the handshake before replying. "Freddie Mercury." He said, looking at John in contemplation, still trying to get a read on him.

"Also, I won't kill you in your sleep, you'd be expecting that, it's better to build trust first." He said cheekily, giving a small smirk.

"You catch on fast, darling." Freddie replied, giving John wide smile in return.

"So does that mean-" he started.

"Yes I'll be your bloody friend! I retract my previous statement about you, John." Freddie smiled again at John's blush of embarrassment.

Freddie turned to leave and gestured for John to follow. "There's no time to waste dear, you must meet everyone!" Freddie said, John jogged up to him. Despite his height, John had trouble keeping up with the shorter man.

They walked to a nearby building where they climbed to the third floor and through the ceiling using a rather unsafe looking ladder.

John was surprised at how intact the house was, taking in the comfiest looking furniture he'd ever seen in his life, not that that was saying much. Freddie led him to what seemed to be the living room and so far John hadn't seen any other people. "Where's the other people you talked about?" He questioned.

"Ah! Of course!" Freddie beamed a big grin before whistling. Instead of humans though, two cats appeared, climbing in from the window. "John, I'd like you to meet Tom and Jerry." 

John didn't know what to reply, but he couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips. All he could think was that Freddie Mercury was going to change his life in a huge way.

He was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the new chapter! Feedback is highly appreciated :^)


	5. Freddie and John

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short chapter for yalls

Freddie had to admit, he liked this John fellow. Unlike many he had encountered in this outside world, John was well mannered, nice even, not to mention adorably shy.

Even the bloody cats liked him, seen by Tom and Jerry fussing up against the taller man's hands and lap. 

"Would you like to see the rest of the house or are you going to entertain the cats all afternoon?" He asked, seemingly breaking John out of his trance.

"Um yes, that would be lovely, thank you." John rose, making sure the cats were more or less undisturbed. Freddie smiled once more at this strange boy, he had to admit, he'd smiled more in the past half hour than he had in the past month. 

"This is the bedroom, well I say that, it's more the cats than mine," as if to agree with his statement, Tom stretched out on the sofa, letting out a content purr.

Freddie lead John to the kitchen, and opened one of the cupboards. "This is where I store the food, I'm afraid cooking isn't my strong point, so most of the stuff to eat is raw." Picking up an odd looking utensil from a draw, Freddie looked at it in confusion. "I don't even know what this is." He said, making a face.

"I can cook." Freddie looked up at John in surprise, "only basic things- soup, stew. Nothing fancy." He said with an awkward smile.

Freddie placed the object back into the draw, closing it. "Don't be so humble," he chastised. "You are hereby appointed head chef!" He said, theatrically knighting him.

Freddie took John back through the living room, leading him to the music room. Freddie watched John's expression carefully before speaking, he saw the taller boy's face light up at the sight of so many instruments.

"This is my favourite room, so if you break anything I won't hesitate to throttle you." He warned, John's smile faltered a bit before returning brighter than ever.

"There's no need to worry, I know how to handle my instruments." He said, before putting his backpack down and stepping over the amps to the guitars. He picked up one and Freddie stepped forward with interest. 

John plucked out a simple bass line, an old one that Freddie thought he had heard before, but he couldn't name it. "That's a nice riff, when did you learn how to play?" He asked, sitting casually on the piano stool.

John looked up, still nodding to the beat, "it's always been an interest of mine, but I only started getting serious a few years ago." He said, slowly letting the tune die throughout his sentence. "Do you play anything?"

Freddie grinned, eager to share his interest with someone other than the cats. "I've written a few pieces on this old thing," he started turning back to the piano to let his fingers brush along the keys. "I'll play you something if you'd like." He proposed, glancing back at John for his answer.

"Sure." He said eagerly.

With this conformation, Freddie turned back around, and, taking a deep breath of preparation, let his fingers press to the keys.

He played a little piece he had been working on. Inspiration had struck him in the river, imagining the seas of the world that had once been described to him. He dreamt of them in his own world, a world with seven seas.

_"Fear me you lords and lady preachers_  
_I descend upon your earth from the skies_  
_I command your very souls you unbelievers_  
_Bring before me what is mine_  
_The seven seas of rhye"_

The unfinished melody slowly drifted out and Freddie slowed his movements, until he was still, fingers hovering over the keys. Blinking, he snapped out of his trance like state. Smiling contently, he turned back to John to get his reaction.

John's face was in a state of awe, and Freddie found himself feeling ever so slightly smug. Freddie let him stay jaw slacked for a few more moments before speaking. "What do you think?" He asked, fiddling with the ends of his hair.

John licked his lips as he seemed to come back to himself. "That... was beautiful, Freddie." He stated simply. Gazing at Freddie with new eyes.

Smiling wide, Freddie shifted his position on the stool. "Glad you like it, dear, since you're the only one to appreciate it other than the cats." Turning back, he played a small melody absentmindedly.

A few bars in, he heard the plucking of a guitar. The instruments sounded good  
together, and Freddie smiled to himself as he got more into the song, listening to John's interpretation with his bass.

They did this for a good few minutes, having a conversation within the music, improvising off each other. Freddie's melody slowly faded out, as did John's bass. The aftermath of this exchange made deep emotion well up within Freddie, and he felt a lightness in his stomach. 

Freddie turned to John and got up from the stool, they smiled at each other a feeling of giddiness welling up inside them. Freddie began to laugh, light and giggly, he ran towards John, hugging him tightly.

As John moved to hug him back, Freddie was filled with mixed emotions. An immense relief for once again having human connection, a person to talk to, to befriend and eventually trust. But he also felt cold fear in his gut. He knew that this would most likely be snatched away. It would either be swift, only allowing him a small taste of this connection before the universe takes it from him. Either that or months, maybe years from now, when a deep bond had been formed. When Freddie had found a deeper connection with John than anyone else, two against the world, only to be taken away, leaving a hole in his life that could never be filled.

Freddie didn't know what would be worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to update this every other Thursday, but I am already halfway through writing chapter 10... so every Thursday maybe? idk
> 
> also, I next chapter will be Brian and Roger since I am too addicted to writing Freddie and John lol
> 
> feedback is always appreciated! Please leave comments on what you think of it!


	6. Brian and Roger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eh fuck it, its 2:30 and i cant sleep cause of a sore throat and I can't even go on Tumblr because of the nsfw strike. I crave feedback and validation
> 
> the fucking 5 minute chef ad came on, now it is officially too late to go to sleep.
> 
> you want your chapter, GO GET IT!

Roger was panicking. It was completely irrational. He needed to go through with the plan, he'd wanted to escape from this place ever since he knew there was an outside. But no, now he had hid himself in his wardrobe breathing heavily from panic.

There was a knock on the door. "Roger?" He heard Brian say in that soft voice he always used whenever the blond freaked out. "Roger, if we don't go now, they'll leave without us." Even though he kept his voice soft, Roger could tell he was getting impatient.

And so, with a deep breath, he got up and opened the cupboard door. "Okay, sorry." He said, composing himself, even though he didn’t feel composed at all. Not trusting himself to look up at the taller man, he simply closed the door. "let's go." 

Brian gave him a once over to check if he was okay, but Roger pushed past him and headed straight to the front door, grabbing his backpack in a nervous hurry at the exit.

He opened the front door, stepping through and holding it open. "Come on Brian, you said it yourself, we'll be late." Once Brian caught up, Roger practically marched towards Tim’s house.

"Roger" he heard behind him, but he kept moving forward, even though he could feel his breathing getting more uneven. "Roger!" He felt a hand on his shoulder, and was spun around to face Brian. "Roger, stop." 

The smaller man huffed angrily, pushing Brian away from him. "Stop being stupid Brian, we don't have much time." he turned away from the taller man and began to continue on his way. His eyesight was a little off, but he thought he could push through it.

However, he was held back by a hand. Brian's face was filled with concern and Roger felt his breath get more laboured. "Just stop for a moment. Breathe." Roger's tunnel vision became slightly lessened as he felt Brian's hands rub his shoulders and arms. "Shhh. It's okay." Roger didn't realise the tears in his eyes until they were running down his cheeks. Brian's hand was there to brush them away and Roger hated how comforting it was.

His breath was still shaky and small sobs escaped from his throat. He wanted to believe he was fine, but his lips curled downward without his permission. Brian’s concerned gaze wasn’t helping either. He had to admit that he wasn’t really okay.

Shakily, Roger lifted his arms to wrap around Brian's torso and rested his head on the taller man's shoulder. Roger closed his eyes and was calmed by the soothing, rhythmic rubbing of Brian's hands on his back. 

Roger's breathing returned to a steady pace and he felt Brian pull away to look at him. "It's okay to be scared, you know." He said, but Roger just lowered his head in shame.

He sighed in frustration at himself, "I don't know why I'm so afraid, I've wanted this my whole life and now I'm crying like a damn baby." He removed his arms from Brian, rubbing at his temples.

"This is the scariest shit we have ever done, I think you're entitled to panic." Brian said simply, but Roger was still not convinced. "It may not look like it, but I'm fucking terrified right now" he revealed with a shaky laugh.

Roger looked up out of concern for his friend, “Shit. I’m sorry for bringing you into this Brian. You didn’t even want to come in the first place and now you have to deal with me freaking out like a child.” Roger let out a pitiful fake laugh and drew his hands down his face.

“I decided to join you of my own accord. You have every right to freak out, this is a far cry from all of your previous anxiety inducing stunts.” Brian sighed wistfully, and Roger felt the tension lessen slightly.

“Thank you, Brian.” He said earnestly, putting his hand on the other man's shoulder.

Brian let out a huff of laughter, “Roger, I should be thanking you. I would have never been able to do something as bat shit crazy as this without you.” Brian said earnestly, despite the joke.

They both let the moment hang in the air before Roger spoke up. “They’ve probably left without us now, Bri.” His voice wavered slightly, feelings of regret and failure overcoming him.

Brian however, was more optimistic, “We might be able to make it if we hurry.” Roger reluctantly agreed.

The two hurried their way to Tim's house. Roger was hesitant to knock, feeling sick to hear if there was a response.

Finally, he knocked. There was no response.

“Shit.” Roger said, kicking the ground in frustration. The plan was over. He would be stuck in this cage forever. It was his fault and he was so angry at himself.

“Let’s not give up hope yet, they might have just left…” Roger knew Brian was trying to stay optimistic for his sake, but there was no feeling behind his words.

Roger was about to make his way back to their house raging and sorrowful, when he heard a shout from above. He and Brian looked up at the wall. Making sure to stay hidden behind the buildings. 

They saw the guards run up to the right of them and begin shooting, leaving the section of wall nearest them unguarded.

Roger was now filled with renewed hope, he grabbed Brian's arm and looked to the taller man, who’s fear filled eyes were fixed to the guards. “Brian, lets go, now’s our chance!” Brian stared back wide-eyed at him and took a deep breath before nodding. 

They both ran to the unguarded part of the wall. Reaching it, they started ripping off a large section, frantically trying to make it give way. The succeeded, and Roger’s body buzzed with adrenaline. He crouched through the inside of the wall and kicked at the other side. The thin metal gave way after a few kicks and Roger didn’t look back when he grabbed Brian's hand and ran into the outside. 

Despite the fear that gripped his heart, Roger felt a euphoria like no other fall over him. He was free. He briefly thought that if he died now, if a guard saw them and shot him straight through the head, he wouldn’t care. Because he did it. He had escaped. They had escaped, him and Brian. They did it together.

As that thought entered his mind, the hand in his gripped harder, and he heard Brian scream out in pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha have fun with this cliffhanger >:D
> 
> also blease give feedback because im sick uwuwu


	7. Brian and Roger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for 1000 hits! here is the chapter a day early :)

Brian was overcome with a sharp pain in his leg and a scream was ripped from his lungs, his grip on Roger tightened as he tried to stop himself from falling. 

Roger looked back at him, deep terror on the younger mans face. Although his breaths were stuttered and gasping, he tried to reassure his friend, “it’s okay- just keep moving-” His voice seemed to help Roger focus, he slung Brian’s arm over his shoulders and they carried on, running much slower than before.

Brian didn’t know how much time had passed until they stopped, but once they had gotten out of the line of fire, Roger pushed him down to the ground so that he was leaning against a tree. 

Brian’s eyelids were heavy, but he saw Roger kneel down next to him and open his backpack. Brian watched the younger man look to him in concern before going into his doctor mode.

“Stay with me Brian, I need you to tell me how you feel.” He said, inspecting Brian’s leg. 

Brian laughed at the question, “I feel like I just got shot in the fucking leg, Rog, how do you think I feel?” His mind was pounding with pain, making him slightly hysterical.

Roger paid him no mind as he carefully inspected Brian’s leg, lightly moving it to cause the least pain, not that it really made a difference since Brian thought he would faint if he was in any more agony.

“Well, I can tell you that it could have been a lot worse.” he began, setting down Brian’s leg carefully before starting to rummage through his bag. “It didn’t hit any major blood vessels or get lodged in your bone, so that’s the worst of it out of the way. It also went straight through your leg which is pretty much the best option, as the head didn’t get lodged into you. That would have been real messy. You should count yourself lucky.” He said casually, emerging from the bag with a selection of items.

“Lucky? I just got fucking- Aaagh!” Brian took in a deep his of pain as the arrow was suddenly pulled the rest of the way through his leg. “What the fuck, Roger!” He growled through gritted teeth.

Roger looked up at him, “if I’d have warned you, it would have hurt more.” he stated simply. 

Brian breathed heavily, but was given little time to recover as a sharp sting enveloped his wound. He hissed in pain, biting the inside of his cheek as roger disinfected both the entry and exit wounds.

Brian kept himself tense in anticipation of another onslaught from Roger’s less than ethical doctoring.

“Don’t worry dear, the worst of it’s over now.” He joked, patting Brian's cheek condescendingly. Brian wasn’t convinced but allowed himself to relax slightly.

It seemed Roger was right as he applied the gauze pads and wrap in quick succession, methodically wrapping the wound.

Roger stepped back, admiring his handiwork. “It should heal within about six weeks, it would normally not be that long, but we’ll probably be doing a lot of walking.” He told Brian, snapping out of doctor mode.

Brian took a sigh of relief as the pain lessened into numbness with each moment and he relished in the comforting feeling of the tight, professional bandages on his leg. His head, however, was pounding from the drop in adrenaline as well as the loss of energy. 

“I think we should sleep here for tonight.” Roger said after a few minutes.

Brian didn’t have the energy to argue, they were relatively safe considering they were near the city. “Okay, but you’re taking first watch. Wake me up in a few hours.” he managed to say, seeing Roger nod apathetically before he drifted off into a deep sleep.

When he woke up, it was already morning, and Roger was gathering their things together. In his still sleep heavy state, the only thing he could think of saying was, “you were supposed to wake me up.”

Roger looked at him with a deadpan expression, “oh yeah, and what would you do if a murderer approached us? Win him over with your charm?” Roger smirked.

Brian couldn’t argue with that logic. “But still, you shouldn’t have had to stay up all night…” he said, guilt settling in as he became more awake. 

The smaller man tutted, and turned to pick something up. “Honestly Brian, it’s the least I could do.” when he turned back to face him, Roger had two crude wooden crutches in hand. Brian raised an eyebrow. “What else was I supposed to do with all my free time?” Roger stated simply before helping Brian stand.

Using Roger and the tree to steady himself, Brian managed to get upright. Roger handed him the Crutches one at a time, putting his arms out incase Brian fell.

He had to admit, they were pretty helpful. “I never knew you were so handy Rog, I’d make a few changes myself, but you’ve done pretty well.” he said, smirking.

Roger snorted, flipping his hair over his shoulder, “well I’m sorry they’re not up to your standards Mr May, would you prefer to have the ones moulded from gold?” He asked, putting on a mock posh voice.

A bright smile grew on Brian's face, “Well now that you mention it, Mr Taylor, that would be perfect.” Roger let out a loud bark of laughter.

They laughed together for a few moments and Brian thought that despite how much had changed overnight. Despite them finally gaining their freedom from the city and the pain that still came from Brian’s leg, nothing had really changed. They were still able to laugh at each others silly comments and remarks. A light feeling entered his chest as he looked at his friend, Brian thought that this wasn’t a bad decision after all.

This thought was thoroughly out of his mind a few hours later. “Fucking hell. I’m going to kill the bastard that shot that bloody arrow!” he seethed through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, I heard you the first twenty times, Bri…” Roger replied, the weight of both of their bags and the lack of sleep was clearly getting to him.

They’d been walking for hours now, the forest seemed to be never ending, it felt like they were walking in circles.

Brian’s legs were aching and his hands were embedded with splinters. He somehow felt even more trapped out here, the unfamiliar setting of the forest felt like a cage or maze. The freedom of the outside made him nervous. There were no rules out here. People could kill without laws or consequences to stop them. Was this worth it? To live with freedom and fear as opposed to safety and imprisonment?

Brian chose not to think on it, instead, he focused on walking forward.


	8. Freddie and John

John had an odd feeling in his stomach, like butterflies. 

Freddie was currently lying on the sofa next to him, drawing in his sketch pad whilst John himself was stroking Tom, who was in his lap. It was odd, this side of freedom. The simple feeling of not having walls around him, confining. Here, he didn’t have to worry about having to join a certain career, or fear the enforcement of the rules. He was comfortable, not worried or anxious. It was weird, but nice.

He must have gotten distracted as he felt Tom fuss against his hand to remind him to keep stroking him. John smiled as he went back to playing with Tom’s ears.

After about half an hour, he felt Freddie get up from the sofa and walk into another room. John paid no mind as he was content with sleepily feeling the fur under his finger. 

Freddie came back a few minutes later with a couple of blankets and a pillow, he set them down next to the wall. John watched him sleepily, he figured that he would fall asleep on the sofa in a few minutes time. He carefully moved Tom off of his lap, much to the cats dismay, and yawned.

He felt something cold around his wrist, he looked to his hand in confusion and found a handcuff. He looked to Freddie for an answer, slightly nervous.

“Don’t look at me like that, I’m not going to tie you up and torture you, dear.” The smaller man joked. “This is just for precautions, in case you do try and kill me in my sleep, you wouldn’t be the first to try.” John decided not to dwell on that last statement as he was lead by his wrist to the wall.

Freddie attached the other end of the handcuffs to the radiator next to the wall. John tested it and it didn’t give way, “I hope you have a key for this.” he said, letting himself fall down into the homemade bed and hearing Freddie snort with laughter. He pulled the covers over himself, shifting into a more comfortable position. “Goodnight, Freddie.”

Freddie chuckled before John heard him lay on the sofa, “Sweet dreams, John.” He said softly, voice breathy from fatigue.

John smiled and fell asleep shortly after.

He woke in the morning, from the light that shone in the room he could tell that the sun had just risen. Sighing, he turned away from the wall, trying to see if Freddie was already awake.

Said man was still fast asleep with Tom on his stomach and Jerry in between him and the back of the sofa. With the soft morning light, John had to admit that it was a beautiful sight. The top of Freddie’s hair was turned golden where the light hit it and dust particles floated around his sleeping form.

After a few minutes studying this scene, John dropped his head on his pillow. Stuck handcuffed to the radiator, there wasn’t much for him to do, unable to get back to sleep, John stared at the ceiling and thought.

It was hard to believe this was real. Here he was, waking up in a strangers house, waking up to the outside. Here he was. He never really considered what the outside would be before the chance to escape, he didn’t see much reason to. A few months ago, he thought he would just follow in his father's footsteps, just being another worker for the system. He wouldn’t have minded it, obeying the rules meant security.

But now, as he turned to look back at Freddie, he could feel his heart race. This whole situation was insane but he somehow had an immense euphoria at the idea of being in danger. Maybe it was because the mundanity was gone and this feeling would pass in a few days. But maybe it was within his own nature to seek danger, the thrill of being close to constant peril. Either way, John thought it pretty odd to be thinking of this at all and settled on the fact that he was just a bit odd.

Around two hours later, Freddie finally awoke with a dramatic yawn. John turned and saw him lazily scratching Jerry’s ear. It was a cute scene, but John was bored out of his mind being stuck to the radiator.

He cleared his throat, catching Freddie’s attention. The other man looked at him smugly, “how long have you been awake?” he said, making no move to get up and free John, only slowly stretching.

“About two hours. Good afternoon, by the way.” he snarked, earning a soft snort from Freddie.

“You can wake up whenever you want out here, you might as well take advantage.” he grinned, yawning once more. Ever elegant and dramatic, Freddie stretched again and practically fell off of the sofa, falling to the floor gracefully before getting up. This, of course, being the most time consuming way he could have gotten out of bed.

John refrained from saying anything and instead just let out a sigh. Once Freddie walked over with the key he looked at John with sleepy eyes and said, “patience is a virtue.” he unlocked the cuffs and john rubbed his wrist as he saw Freddie walk back and fall back onto the sofa.

John stood up, stretching. He looked back at Freddie to see him watching with half lidded eyes. John flushed slightly and tried to suggest something that would stop him from being the focus of such an intense gaze, “I suppose I should make breakfast.”

Freddie smiled like the cat that got the cream and John walked past him towards the kitchen. “Thank you, Deaky.” That made him stop and look back.

“What?” He questioned.

Freddie’s head hung over the back of the sofa, looking upside down at John, “Deaky. It’s a nickname.” he said simply.

John didn’t know what to think, he’d never been given a nickname before, and now a man he had known for less than a day had suddenly given him one. Freddie was truly the most baffling person he had ever met.

Ignoring this odd swell of happiness that had settled in his chest, he continued his journey to the kitchen.

He had seen before that there was a small fire on the destroyed part of the kitchen, he crouched down beside it and took out his lighter. With some nurturing, it became a full fire.

John then looked through the draws, gathering and preparing the ingredients such as apples, pairs, peppers, etc. Once he had them cut and peeled accordingly, he began looking for something to properly cook them in, he eventually found a barely used pan in one of the cupboards.

Then he began cooking, slowly adding more and more ingredients into the pan. A few minutes before he was done, he heard a deep inhale and an approving hum from behind him.

When he turned, he saw Freddie staring heart eyed at the pan, practically drooling. “That smells absolutely amazing.” 

John smiled at the compliment, but avoided looking at Freddie out of embarrassment, focusing on the task at hand. “I’m glad you think so, it will be done in a few minutes.” 

“Wonderful.” In his peripheral, John saw Freddie lean against the doorway, continuing to watch.

John was very unused to having such focus put on himself, and Freddie seemed to look at everything with such intensity and intrigue. It was odd, but not entirely unpleasant.

Once the meal seemed to be appropriately cooked, John snuffed out the fire and split the food onto two plates he had set out earlier, along with cutlery. 

He picked up the plates and walked past Freddie, who eagerly followed. John set down Freddie’s plate on the coffee table, and sat down with his own.

Freddie grabbed his plate from the table and sat down next to John, smelling the food and humming in pleasure.

“I wouldn’t eat it yet, it’s still hot.” John warned, but he was swiftly ignored. Freddie practically stabbed one of the peppers and brought it to his mouth without so much as blowing on it first.

John spent the next seconds looking at Freddie in amused disappointment as he fanned at his mouth until he swallowed and coughed. “I did warn you.” John said, taking a bite of a slice of apple.

Freddie looked slightly embarrassed but smiled when he turned to John, “well, apart from the burning, it did taste wonderful, darling.” John began to giggle, because of course Freddie would say something like that. 

When John looked back to his meal and felt the other man’s gaze on him, he was glad to be the focus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof i love writing from John's pov... I relate to him a lot and I find it so easy and fun to write John and Freddie's dialogue
> 
> anyway, new chapters every day until christmas because I am nice


	9. Brian and Roger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another day, another chapter :)

Roger’s back ached like a bitch. The two bags were weighing him down as he and Brian walked. Brian has offered to take his bag back, but Roger had outright refused, it would do no good for his leg. He sighed, it felt like they were walking in circles. He’s also not gotten any sleep for about thirty hours which was far from helping his spirits. He was still riding off the high of escaping, though, which was a bonus.

They had wandered into a part of the forest filled with greenery that reached their knees, with this protection, he might actually be able to get some sleep. God he hoped so.

Within a few hours, he noticed Brian getting more and more grouchy. Roger started looking for a place to sleep, he spotted a small area surrounded by large trees that looked pretty well hidden. 

As he walked towards it, Brian wordlessly followed. Roger practically threw the two bags on the ground and fell dramatically onto the floor. Brian was a tad more eloquent. 

“My fucking back fucking hurts.” Roger said, stretching. He watched as Brian slowly lowered himself to the ground.

Brian gritted his teeth as he fell the last few inches to the ground, “Yeah, try getting shot in the fucking leg.” He smiled an annoyingly fake smile at Roger.

Roger dramatically gasped, “Really Brian, your leg hurts? I wouldn’t have known?” he said, rolling his shoulder and wincing.

Roger saw Brian watching with an unamused face. “Oh come over here you idiot.” 

“What?” Roger asked, somewhat interested, more focused on trying to relieve his pain.

Brian looked at him like he was stupid. “I know how to knead your back.” he admitted, slightly embarrassed. He mumbled something else that Roger couldn’t hear, but definitely sounded mortifying.

“What was that Bri? I couldn’t quite hear you,” Roger grinned.

“I said I took a class.” he grumbled. Roger covered his mouth to stop him from howling from laughter. 

Trying, and failing to keep a straight face, Roger moved over to Brian. “Well if you took a class…” He snarked, pulling his hair out the way.

Brian reluctantly began kneading at Roger’s shoulders and Roger enjoyed it for a few minutes before poking more fun at his friend. “Hmmm, you know Bri, I once knew a girl who was a masseuse, a real wild one she was- ow!” Brian dug his thumb in between his shoulder blades.

“Sorry Rog, did that hurt?” Roger could hear the smirk in Brian's voice.

He sulked for a few minutes before sighing, fiddling with his shirt. “I guess there’s not much choice of partners out here though. That means you’re number one pick!” He laughed, waggling his eyebrows and sticking out his tongue.

Brian jabbed him even harder between the shoulder blades, Roger lept away, holding his arms over himself protectively.

The blond sighed as the weight of sleep deprivation settled into his mind and body, slumping onto the ground next to Brian. He briefly felt Brian’s arm curl around his shoulders, making him smile, before he drifted into a deep and well deserved sleep.

When Roger slowly came back to consciousness, he groaned at discomfort from his left side feeling cold while his right side was warm. He shifted onto his side, wrapping an arm around the warmth. Roger felt a hand reach and stroke his back, he moved into the touch, murmuring approvingly.

After a few long minutes of being as comfortable as he could be on the ground, Roger removed himself from Brian. He stretched and yawned, slowly opening his eyes. 

“Feeling rested, Sleeping Beauty?” Brian asked.

“I was already beautiful.” Roger grinned, stretching his shoulders and groaning. Standing above Brian, he held out his hand for the other to grab, which he did, standing himself up. Roger then handed him his crutches.

Brian sighed, “thanks, Rog.” He said, steadying himself. Roger felt a silly stab of guilt in his gut that he couldn’t magically heal his friends leg. He tried to reason that he had done what he could. It didn’t help.

He sighed as he picked up both of their bags, groaning in pleasure as the pain in his back that he had come to expect never came.

They silently began their journey once more. At first, the forest had dazzled Roger, it was so vast and interesting, holding within it creatures he had only read about in books. Now, however, the landscape was starting to feel samey and the uncertainty making him nervous.

He walked and walked, one step after the the other, drumming his fingers where his hand grabbed the bag strap. Absently he started humming, it was a tune that Brian and Tim had written a while ago, the song seemed oddly fitting in his current situation.

He seemed to have been heard, from beside him Brian started singing softly.

“Yesterday, my life was in ruin…” He sang in that beautifully soft voice.

“Now today I know what I’m doing,” Roger replied, earning a small smile from Brian.

They started singing together, Roger drummed on his thighs as they walked. The blond’s bad mood from yesterday had disappeared, he now felt a warm, familiar feeling of contentment settled in his stomach, making him giddy.

Roger skipped ahead then turned around to face Brian, walking backwards and grinning whilst theatrically waving his hands, over pronouncing the words.

Brian laughed at him, “Your going to trip you idiot.”

And he did just that, catching himself just before he fell on his arse. They both laughed harder, and Roger struggled to steady himself as is body shook.

They carried on walking, continuing to sing and mess around. Roger hummed the tune to Keep Yourself Alive, when Brian spoke.

“Did you just hear that? He asked. Roger was about to say he was crazy when a shout was heard to their left.

Thinking on his feet, he carefully lowered Brian to the ground and tried to scan the forest for movement.

He saw two people, a woman was running from a large man, it was clear she didn’t have a chance. The man caught up to her and Roger stared with wide eyes as she was tackled to the ground.

Her screams were unintelligible, but so very haunting. She was stabbed repeatedly. Roger had to do something, he couldn’t just sit there and watch. He had no weapons but he spotted a large jagged stone laying nearby.

His next actions were neither clever nor rational but he couldn’t sit back and watch as a woman was being murdered.

He picked up the rock and stood, he raised it over his head and let out a roar of anger as he threw it. The man looked over to him in shock, and Roger watched with a grim satisfaction as the mans face was hit with the rock and his body slumped to the ground.

The woman was already dead but it didn’t matter. He felt a sick joy in knowing that he did something to help, that he wasn’t just another bystander watching something awful happen. He wasn’t a coward, he didn’t fear anything. He was brave and he was strong. He didn’t need anyone’s help.

As he repeated those words in his head, he felt Brian’s hands leave his leg, he didn’t even realise the other man had gripped it.

Roger looked down to see tears falling from his friend’s face. He knelt down, looking at Brian, he was about to say something, but Brian spoke first.

“Roger… what the fuck did you just do?” His voice was barely a whisper, laced with shock and pain. His eyes were pleading and haunting.

Roger swallowed, “I had to do something Brian- I had to-”

“You could have gotten yourself killed, you idiot.” Brian reached up to hug him, pulling him close. “Fucking hell, never do that again.” The other man commanded, Roger nodded even though he knew that it was a lie.

He pulled back and didn’t look Brian in the eye as he helped the taller man up.

Roger carefully walked towards the two bodies on the ground, hearing Brian slowly follow behind him. He looked to the woman, dark crimson still flowed from her chest.

He turned his gaze to the man, and looked desperately to see if he was breathing, he was. Roger let out a heavy sigh of relief, he hadn’t killed. Yet.

He felt another spike of anger once he realised he was alive. Roger stomped towards him, ripping his bag from his body and searching through it, taking the valuable items he could find such as water and food. Once he had transferred the items to his own bag he began removing the weapons from the man’s body, taking knives and a spear that was strapped to his back.

He then went for the man’s jacket, taking it off his shoulders.

“Roger!” He looked up to Brian who he assumed had been calling his name for a while.

“What do you want, Brian?” He asked with slight exasperation in his voice.

Brian didn’t reply for a few seconds, “What are you doing? You’re practically fucking grave robbing.” He said with deep concern in his voice.

Roger looked up at him sharply, “He killed someone, Brian! I don’t think I’m in the wrong here.” He spat, finally removing the jacket and wrapping it around himself. It was way too big but it would do. He took the bloodied knife out of the man’s hand and pocketed it.

He heard Brian let out a disgusted noise. “What?” Roger asked, getting up.

“I can’t even look at you right now, Rog.” He said, as if he were going to be sick.

“Fine. I don’t care, just keep moving.” Roger began walking, not caring if Brian was following. He was overreacting, Roger wasn’t doing anything wrong, he was being rational. There were resources and he needed them to survive. Brian was just blowing this out of proportion, letting his emotions get in the way.

Roger repeated these words in his head, trying to ignore the feeling of the jacket around his body and how it made him want to puke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not all that happy with this chapter but I needed to write more Roger and Brian. I need to write more of them cause each of their arcs are gonna be dope but at the moment it is just too early to be super fun. Meanwhile the chapters that I've written with Freddie and Deaky has become super addictive because they are just the softest.
> 
> I promise I will write more Brian and John for the new year, it will be my resolution !


	10. Freddie and John

John had been staying with Freddie for almost a week now, and Freddie still didn’t know what to make of him. A few things were clear, one being that he was incredibly attention starved. Freddie didn’t understand how anyone could ignore such a unique, talented, and not to mention adorable person. Eh, city people had no taste, that much he knew already. 

John was also a very talented musician, despite what he would tell you. Freddie was amazed at his out of the box thinking, as well as his improvisation skills. He was too humble, the boy was a genius!

Freddie also noticed that he was smart too, he had a good intuition. He had a reliable gut feeling, that was valuable out here. He’d just have to hope it was enough to keep him alive.

There was so much that was undiscovered about him, a mystery to be solved. He had so easily caught Freddie’s interest, it was scary. 

At the moment John was sitting opposite on the sofa where Freddie was lying, reading one of his books, Freddie had seen him read this one a few times before but he had no clue what it was about, it was the thickest book Freddie had seen in his life, he had no idea what someone could write that much about.

Curious, he tapped John’s leg with his foot to get his attention. The boy finished the sentence he was on, before looking to Freddie. “What are you reading?” He asked.

John glanced back to his book before starting to explain. “It’s about life before… how people lived before all of this.” now that caught Freddie’s interest, he sat up in fascination. John seemed to spot his interest and smiled. “You can borrow it if you want.” Freddie scrunched his face in disinterest, he despised reading.

“I’m afraid I’m not much of a reader,” he said, “could you read it for me?” He asked with pleading eyes. 

John sighed in amusement before starting to read. “The average house consisted of a mother, father and their children. The wife would cook, clean and look after the children whereas the husband would go to work and earn money. Of course, many houses were not like this, either due to a switch of gender roles, lack of children, or lack of one of the parental figures.” Freddie snorted in amusement, John looked at him with confusion.

“Which one of us is the wife?” Freddie asked, laughing.

John shook his head in amusement before he continued reading. Freddie was more and more surprised as John continued. There were so many unspoken rules that people had to follow, what they wore, how long their hair was, so many things that were dependant on how people looked and acted. Freddie felt a small bit of pity towards those people from the past. Despite their safety, they were so very confined.

Freddie could tell that John was getting tired of reading, and so he asked him another question.

“What were things like in your city?” 

That seemed to catch John off guard, the boy paused for long moments. Freddie’s gaze was drawn to Deaky’s bottom lip as he bit it in thought. He closed the book, setting it down on the table and pulled his knees to his chest. 

He didn’t meet Freddie’s eyes when he spoke, but Freddie could tell he was aware of his reactions. “It wasn’t as bad as some people might believe. I don’t exactly miss it but… I miss the small things.” Freddie saw John curl into himself more, his hair falling to cover his face. “When I was fourteen I climbed a tree with this girl, It was the tallest tree in the city and I’d always wanted to climb it, but I was too scared.” He smiled in embarrassment. “She climbed all the way to the top by herself and then helped to guide me up with her. As we sat on the tallest branch of the tallest tree and I felt so brave. I felt brave enough to hold her hand and she kissed me.” He blushed adorably, pausing for a few moments. “It was my first kiss and at the time it felt like the greatest day of my life. Unfortunately getting down that tree wasn’t as easy as climbing up and I ended up breaking my arm.” His voice wavered as he finished his sentence, and Freddie shifted closer. “It’s stupid, but I miss that tree.” John turned away from Freddie, it didn’t take a detective to know he was crying.

Freddie reached his hand out, brushing it against John's arm in comfort. He sat up on his knees, hugging and shushing Deaky through his quiet sobs. “Shh, shh, shh, It’s okay.” Freddie began rocking him, resting his hand on John’s neck. “We all get home sick, darling, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Freddie felt John bury his head in his neck and his hands on his chest, grabbing at his shirt. 

After a few minutes, John’s sobs died out and his grip on Freddie’s shirt lessened. “I’m sorry.” John said, voice muffled from his face being in Freddie’s neck.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, love. You can cry if you need to.” John pulled back and Freddie placed his hands on the boys cheeks, wiping his tears away with his thumbs. 

“It’s silly to cry over something I can’t go back to. I don’t know why I’m getting so emotional.” He said, leaning away and wiping the last tears from his eyes.

Freddie gripped his shoulder, “crying is not a weakness, Deaky. Don’t be so hard on yourself." John gave Freddie a small smile, dropping his head on the back of the sofa. 

Freddie sat beside him, letting the back of his hand brush against the back of John’s.

The next day came, but John was clearly still affected by yesterday’s conversation. He wouldn’t make eye contact with him and fumbled over his words. It seemed his feelings were a sensitive subject.

Fortunately, Freddie had an idea to cheer him up. 

“Deaky, dear, we’re getting rather low on supplies, I think we should head to the river this afternoon.” Freddie saw John look up from his book with wonder in his eyes.

“When?” He asked, Freddie smiled.

“When would you like?” He said. Instead of answering, John put away his book and grab his backpack.

Whilst the other was getting ready, Freddie grabbed his own bag, along with his crossbow, as well as the fruits and veg he had picked last night.

When Deaky joined him, wide eyed, Freddie chuckled. “Eager aren’t we?” He said, John gave an embarrassed smile. 

Freddie grabbed two water containers and handed them to Deaky. “You can carry these then.”

They made their way to the first floor and John seemed to already forget his worries, taking in a deep breath. However, Freddie needed to make sure he was aware of the dangers of going outside.

“John, you need to stay with me at all times. If someone someone comes and… I need you to hide and not make a sound.” Freddie said seriously, looking John in the eyes.

John swallowed and let out a small “okay.”

Freddie didn’t want to frighten him, so he smiled and slung his arm over John’s shoulder, “Apart from that, have fun and enjoy the outdoors, darling!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! The next one is gonna come out tomorrow, which is obviously Christmas, and so chapter 11 is longer than usual - about 2,600 words. It is very angsty but also extremely soft !! Softness levels are through the roof !!!


	11. Freddie and John

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone!

John was slightly scared to be on the outside after what Freddie had said, but it was worth being out of the flat for the fresh air in his lungs and a chance to stretch his legs. Besides, he hadn’t encountered anyone on his first week on the outside.

The scenery was beautiful, he had never seen so many plants in his life, they climbed up the abandoned buildings like veins. The sky was what drew his attention the most though. There was barely a cloud, and this was the first time he could appreciate it without being filled with fear. The whole sky unobscured by walls. It was beautiful.

John could feel Freddie watching him and his face began to feel hot. He still wasn’t entirely used to being the centre of anyone’s attention. It made his heart beat fast. John didn’t really want to think of what that meant, so he focused back on the plants and the sky.

He felt the air get colder as they got nearer to the river, John quickened his pace, eager to feel the cool water on his skin.

They finally reached the river and John was buzzing to get into the water, but before he could even take his shirt off, Freddie stopped him. “Water first, bathing later, dear.” he said, handing him back the containers.

Freddie began washing the fruits and veg, and John filled the containers with water as fast as he could, longing to wash a weeks dirt from his body.

They were both done within five minutes and John helped Freddie pack the food into the bag. They undressed quickly down to their underwear, John couldn’t even think about being shy as giddiness took over him. 

The water was cold at first, John cringed as it lapped at his legs, but he forced himself to go deeper into the river.

He was suddenly splashed from his left, leaving his side cold and soaking. He turned to see Freddie’s smug face just above the water. So it was going to be like that, hm? 

John smirked before diving under the water. Once submerged, he searched for the other man's arm, grabbing it and pulling him under the water. As he pulled Freddie under the water, John emerged, taking a deep breath. Freddie followed shortly after, a scandalised look on his face.  
The other man sighed in mock anger before shaking his head, spraying water over John. He put his hands out, pushing Freddie away and into the water. Freddie seemed to take this as a challenge, wading towards John and then pouncing towards him, hugging his chest and pushing them both into the depths. John flailed under the water, somehow managing to flip himself over, arms around Freddie’s chest, and legs around his waist. Freddie stood up, laughing as he held John to his chest.

John was suddenly overcome with embarrassment at the close proximity with the other man and quickly let go, falling into the water. He could hear Freddie’s laughter even from under the water.

He emerged, coughing. Freddie was now calmly floating, still chuckling. “You are absolutely adorable, darling.” he said playfully, making John flush with embarrassment.

John stuck his tongue out at the shorter man, who simply winked and began swimming. Not wanting to embarrass himself again, John began lazily floating.

They kept to themselves for about half an hour, until John felt jabbs in his side, making him squirm. Freddie emerged from the water, resting his arms and head on John’s chest. “We’d better start heading back, it will be dark soon.” Freddie said before retreating under the water and into the land, John flipped over and swam after him.

They traveled back home with no trouble. Is that what the flat was now? Home? After some thought John supposed it was. He spent all his time there, and he had formed a connection to the place. Freddie was also there, always making sure he was okay. Yeah, it was home.

They both put the food away, but as John was separating the food that would be cooked, he had an idea. “Freddie, do you think we could eat outside tonight?” He asked, looking over to the man.

Freddie seemed to think for a few moments before answering, “I usually wouldn’t, but we still have about an hour of daylight left… and I also want to show you something.” He said, turning to John, mischief in his eyes.

They got ready to go out once again, John packing all the ingredients for soup. They climbed back down to the ground floor and Freddie turned to John, but this time he smiled, “You’re going to love this.” He said, grabbing John’s wrist and leading him through the the buildings and plants.

They eventually reached a clearing on the side of a hill, giving them a beautiful view of the fields and forests, the rolling hills seemed to be endless. The clearing had a log to sit on as well as a small fire. 

“I found this place a while ago but I had no one to share it with. It’s pretty isn’t it?” he asked sitting on the log and admiring the horizon.

“It is.” John replied, looking up from preparing the soup. 

The surroundings were near silent, the only noise being the insects. It was surreal, being out here under the full sky, cooking for himself and a friend. Being out here in the fresh air was freeing, knowing that there were no walls to keep him contained.

Whilst the soup was cooking, John sat beside Freddie on the log, looking at the vast fields and hills. John felt Freddie lean against him, his head resting on his shoulder. He sighed, leaning into the other man.

He periodically checked the soup, and, once it was finished, filled the two bowls they had brought with them. Luckily John no longer had to warn Freddie about eating food that had just come off the fire.

“This smells wonderful, darling.” He said, it had almost become a tradition for Freddie to compliment John’s cooking, his comments never failed to make John smile.

After a while, John got curious. “Why did you bring me here, Fred?” He asked, it can’t have been just because of the beautiful scenery, could it?

Freddie smiled before speaking, “You have lived with walls your whole live, yes?” he asked, John nodded. “Have you ever seen a proper sunset?”

John let out a soft gasp. He hadn't. During his whole outside experience, he had either been in a makeshift shelter or in Freddie’s house, too distracted to look at the sunset. 

He swallowed. “No, I haven’t.” He replied, it was odd to think that such a mundane thing such as a sunset would make his heart beat so fast.

Freddie smiled, instead of saying anything, he instead put a hand on John’s cheek. John felt his eyes widen momentarily before Freddie pushed his head to face the horizon.

John saw as the sun got closer to the land the light seemed to reach out, caressing the horizon. He was momentarily distracted by Freddie’s hand resting against his own.

Over the next hour, the sky changed into a variety of breathtaking colours. At first there was a soft yellow, the sun's light was still reaching through the clouds, dripping heavenly rays onto the grassy hills. Next there was a deep orange, a subtle change, but no less beautiful. The fields were coated in a golden glow, John glanced to Freddie to see if the magnificent glow reached him, coating him in the light. 

John’s breathing stopped momentarily at the beauty of the light touching the other mans face. He was radiant, skin cast with an amber glow, bouncing off his eyelashes and hair, making him look like a godly figure.

The most beautiful aspect of Freddie in this light was his eyes. Still staring at the sunset, they were almost hazel, the sunlight drawing out the darkness from his irises. His eyes seemed to become more intense in the ethereal glow, as if they could find the answer to anything, or was the answer held within his eyes?

Freddie seemed to notice him staring, he turned, smiling.

John almost lost it.

To stop himself from doing something stupid, he swallowed and looked back to the sunset, trying to focus.

Within a few minutes, the sun was halfway set, bathing the sky in a beautiful red, it reminded John of a painting he’d once seen. The sky got quickly darker after that, a deep purple bleeding in from behind them. John was caught up in the beauty of his first sunset. It was so much more than he had ever imagined.

His vision suddenly blurred as he was pushed to the ground. A sharp pain swelled from the back of his head and he was in a state of confusion from being so suddenly moved.

“John are you okay?” Freddie whispered, panicked from over him.

“Yeah, what-” His sentence was cut off by the sound of an arrow shooting above them.

Wide eyed with panic, he looked to Freddie for answers. The other man's demeanor suddenly changed. He became more tense and without looking he grabbed and loaded his crossbow aiming over the log.

John tried to sit up to see what was happening, “Stay down!” Freddie whispered harshly, not taking his eyes off the overgrowth.

John was starting to panic, his mind reminding him of his escape from the city, but this time there was no euphoria to accompany the terror that took over his heart. 

Freddie suddenly jerked which made him flinch, not a second later, a scream was heard from within the trees. He gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut, covering his ears when the distant sound of sobs were heard.

He opened his eyes when he felt Freddie move. The other man stepped over the log and didn’t look back when he spoke, “Stay.”

John was frozen in terror for what felt like hours but what couldn’t have been more than a minute. A single cut off scream was heard, and it wasn’t Freddie’s.

When he came back into sight, Freddie’s face was unsettlingly blank, not meeting John's eyes. Instead of speaking he simply gestured for John to follow, not looking back.

John cautiously got up from behind the log, wide eyes looking all around him for danger before following the other man.

It was even more shocking now that John could see the whole of Freddie. His whole posture was stiff and militaristic as he walked, a complete contrast from his usual elegant swagger.

In his hand he carried two things, a bloodied bag which John assumed was taken from the person that he…

He also held a bow, the string grip was covered in blood. Slowly looking up, the red trail was coming from Freddie’s fingers… dripping.

 

Things changed after that, a week and a half went by and Freddie refused to talk to John. this gave John a lot of time to think, mull things over.

At first he was conflicted. Freddie wasn’t the man he thought he knew, he was a murderer, and now that he thought about it, Freddie rarely spoke of his past and when he did it was cryptic and vague. He didn’t know this man at all.

After a few more days, his opinion changed slightly. He was reminded of their first meeting, Freddie had spared his life when he could have easily killed him just as he had done with that other person. And the pain on his face, the sheer hollowness John had seen was harrowing. This wasn’t a man who wanted to kill.

After a week, he understood. Freddie wasn’t perfect, but out here it was kill or be killed. In fact, Freddie probably put himself more at risk protecting John. That realisation was a shock to his system, for the first time on the outside, John felt incredibly out of his depth. Freddie was his only chance at survival. No, John didn’t know much about Freddie, but he would like to.

However, this decision didn’t help John in regards to talking to his companion. Every situation seemed awkward, and Freddie was actively avoiding him, sitting on the other side of the room when John sat next to him, the only time he went near him was to lock and unlock the handcuffs. Even then he avoided eye contact.

The next trip to the river was one of the most tense situations he had ever been in. John didn’t even want to think about that.

He hadn’t even played his piano since The Incident.

And so for half a week, John desperately tried to find a way to start a conversation. What did he even say? ‘Hey Freddie, just to let you know, I don’t mind that you killed that person, please talk to me again.’

Nothing he came up with suited what he wanted to convey. And so, one night, he thought ‘fuck it’ and decided to wing it.

Confidently, he moved from the floor to the sofa, sitting next to Freddie. As he anticipated, the other man ignored him. 

Sucking in a deep breath, he began to speak. “Freddie-”

“I don’t want to fucking talk about it, John.” He spat, tensing up.

However, this just made John more determined. “Then what do you want to talk about? The fact that you have been avoiding me for the past week and a half?” He said, making his tone a tad harsher.

Freddie didn’t reply.

“We need to fucking talk about it because I can’t live with someone who refuses to speak! I’m going crazy here, Fred.” The other man just seemed to get angrier.

“You just won’t shut the fuck up about this, will you?” He shouted, standing. “I’m a fucking murderer! Just say it.” Freddie was breaking down, and John didn’t know what to do. “Don’t look at me like that, with your pity. Do you pity murderers John? People that wouldn’t hesitate to murder your friends and family?” Freddie was looking him straight in the eyes, John could tell that he was holding back angry tears.

Choosing to ignore Freddie’s hateful comments, he cautiously rose. “You’re not a murderer, Freddie.” He said quietly, almost whispering. He noticed the other man shaking, his lips twitching downwards, but John dared not reach out just yet. “Yes, you have killed people,” he flinched, shaking more, “but you must know that you are a good person. You saved my life.” A single tear ran down Freddie’s cheek and John finally reached out a hand, resting on the other man's shoulder. He guided Freddie onto the sofa and sat opposite him.

“I have killed before John. People who didn’t deserve to die, I-” He cut himself off with a sob as more tears streamed down his face. John reached his hands out, brushing away the tears from his cheeks.

“You’re not a bad person, Freddie. Bad people don’t feel regret.” Freddie’s body shook with a large sob, and for the first time since the incident, he smiled. His eyes were red and his cheeks were wet with tears, but he was smiling, and it was one of the most beautiful things John had ever seen. 

John felt tears pricking at his own eyes from relief. Freddie noticed this, and even in his pain, he gave out his kindness. He took John’s hands, kissing his knuckles and giggling. Freddie’s laugh was contagious, and within minutes they were both lying on the sofa laughing at nothing.

John didn’t know when, but at some point he fell asleep on that sofa next to Freddie. He never slept by the wall again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, it was incredibly fun to write and I am super happy with it uwu
> 
> the only downside is that I have barely started the next one lol, but I am super pumped to write more so there is no need to worry about me abandoning it


	12. Freddie and John

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm definately adding the hurt/comfort tag now, I'm very sorry for the angst.

Freddie woke to a warmth enveloping his body, too big to be a cat. He opened his eyes and saw John’s head resting on his chest, his arms wrapped around Freddie. After the last week, Freddie felt his heart swell with affection for the other man, his arm came to rest against Deaky’s head fingers stroking through his hair.

The man on his chest snuggled up closer to Freddie, scrunching up his face. Freddie thought he was going to die then. That his heart was going to explode out of his chest from fondness and pure joy. That didn’t happen, however. Instead, his chest had a pleasant ache that grew when John hummed against him.

John never failed to surprise him. This delicate, soft, boy had seen Freddie do the unspeakable, yet he had forgiven him, pitied him even. The connotations of this frightened the shorter man. This boy was devoted to him, trusted him, and Freddie couldn’t help but feel the same despite his knowledge from previous experiences telling him not to get attached.

Freddie could feel John waking up, the man rubbed his eyes and smiled lazily at Freddie. “Good morning, my darling.” He said, thumb caressing Deaky’s cheek.

John sighed contently, “Good morning, Freddie.” He mumbled, looking up at him with those beautiful doe eyes.

Freddie stretched his arms above his head and watched as John sat up, sitting on his legs and yawning. John truly made ethereal figure, light bouncing off him and coating him in a yellow glow, he looked like an angel.

This cozy atmosphere could not last forever, however. They needed to talk about yesterday. And so, Freddie sighed and sat up, raking a hand through his hair.

“John…” He started nervously, biting his lip

“We need to talk. I know.” He interrupted.

They sat opposite each other, waiting for the other to speak. Freddie took in a breath and after a few long moments, began to speak. “I am grateful to have you as my friend, John.” He said lovingly. Deaky smiled in embarrassment, looking away. “I value you as my friend, which is why I have to tell you this.” Freddie swallowed, he could no longer bare to look at John and instead looked at a patch of the sofa. “I knew a man once, his name was David and he… David was a very good friend of mine.” Freddie felt a lump in his throat, but swallowed it down. “David was the most kind and loving man I have ever met,” Freddie sniffed, “He saved my life more times than I can count and… we trusted each other fully. We became so dependant on each other.” Tears began to fall from his face, memories he had tried to suppress were rushing back at full force. “I swore that I wouldn’t let anything happen to him, but out here you can’t make those kinds of promises.” He laughed to cover up a sob, closing his eyes for a few moments to calm himself. In his silence, he felt John’s hand on his and he smiled despite himself. “I really wish I could make that promise to you, John, but I can’t lie to you.” He admitted, looking John in the eyes. “I will try my best, but… don’t put your trust in me.” He finished, wiping the tears of his face. He could see John thinking, no doubt the other man would think of something tragically hopeful to say. This is what made it so hard to tell him this. Freddie wanted to tell the boy that he would protect him from anything that would dare to hurt him. Deaky was too good to live like this, Freddie briefly thought that the other man would fit perfectly into his imaginary land, a perfect being for a perfect world.

John spoke after long minutes of thought, “You don’t have to protect me, Freddie.” The statement gave him a relief shortly followed by utter devastation. On one hand, the responsibility and expectation was lifted from his shoulders, however, he was overcome with the realisation that he would expect it of himself nonetheless. He would always feel an obligation to protect John, his one and only friend. If anything ever happened to him, Freddie would never forgive himself, previous experience told him that.

“You can’t protect yourself.” He said hopelessly. He should have never gotten attached, he knew what would happen. He knew but he did it anyway. Freddie almost wished that John would try and slaughter him in his sleep, at least that way he wouldn’t have to look at the cold face of a friend once they finally parted, instead he could dwell in anger. He could scream and shout, damning John and the world.

Freddie felt John’s hand move to lace their fingers together. Freddie looked into the taller man’s eyes. “You could teach me, I’m a fast learner.” John said simply, a beautifully straightforward answer.

“It’s not that simple. You know it’s not.” John was smart, surely he had realised that it would take years to learn how to defend himself to the point where he would be safe. “You can’t just keep worrying and do nothing about it, that’s not your style.” The other man said, Freddie sighed in both frustration and amusement.

“You’re right. I know you’re right. But- I can’t lose another friend. It would destroy me.” he said with an open honesty that he rarely used, especially with someone he had only known for a few weeks. He had avoided having any connection to anyone after what had happened, he had secluded himself and vowed that he would never get attached again.

But he was too weak. A person could go insane from loneliness, Freddie wasn’t entirely sure that he was an exception. He had let himself get attached to a stranger, which was already stupid enough. And his need for connection had latched onto John, stronger than ever thanks to the long time alone.

“I’m not going anywhere yet, Freddie.” John said, breaking him out of his trance. Freddie felt hot tears run down his face. Deaky used his free hand to bring him into an embrace. “I’m still here, and I’ll damn well do my best to stay.” He said in Freddie’s ear. The words were more comforting than Freddie liked to admit but he let out a shaky breath and squeezed the hand that was in his.

After long moments of feeling the heat of John’s body surround him, Freddie reluctantly pulled back. “Thank you for listening to me, I’ve been ranting on for ages.” Freddie said, giving the other man a small, but genuine, smile.

“Freddie, I think I should say that… I didn’t have many friends growing up. Well, I didn’t really have any friends at all.” John looked Freddie in the eyes, there was no sadness, just a solemn contentment. “I was mostly just acquaintances with people, so don’t think that you are alone in this. You are truly the best friend I have ever had,” he laughed softly, “it’s odd to say considering I’ve only known you for less than a month, but it’s true.” Freddie felt his stomach flutter, he was overcome with a feeling of privilege that John had decided to share this with him.

Despite his logic saying it wasn’t possible, Freddie couldn’t help but think that this must be fate. That all gods from all religions had pushed these two lonely people together. His heart was hammering in his chest as he looked at the man in front of him. Slowly, he reached up and placed a hand on the back of John’s neck, feeling the heat radiate from his body. Slowly he leaned forward, but just as he got an inch away from the other man’s lips, he instead brought him into a hug.

“As long as you are with me, you will never be lonely again.” Freddie whispered, holding John close, hoping that the other man was making the same promise to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I'm an absolute tease! But don't fret dear readers, this will definately become slash in under 20 chapters. ... Okay maybe 10, just because I'm nice.


	13. Brian and Roger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late af chapter. I hope you enjoy the angst, a lot is revealed about Bri and Rog in this chapter :^)

They walked the landscape in a long, tense, silence. The days consisted of minimal words, at first, Brian had tried to strike up a conversation, tried to make some of their usual banter come to fruition. But no, his attempts at chatter were met with short, angry replies.

It was depressing. Brian would have shouted at him if he’d had the energy, but the hurt in his leg felt emotional as well as physical. The days seemed to drag on and on, walking through the forest that seemed impossibly large at this point. Brian had to walk through it looking at Roger’s back that was covered with that man’s coat. It sickened Brian, the thing was still stained with blood for goodness sake.

He knew Roger. The man probably needed some space to cool down from what had happened. It was going to be fine. Was it? What if he didn’t bounce back from this one? Sure he had done so previously, but this was different. Things had changed now, they were on the outside and sure, Roger had done some stupid things but nothing like this. Nothing so close to murder.

These thoughts shook Brian and for a brief moment he was overcome with light headedness. He stumbled slightly, sending pain up his leg and he cried out. He righted himself and saw that Roger was facing him.

“Watch where you’re going, you’re leg’s not going to get better if you keep falling on it.” He said with annoyance, Brian liked to think there was concern in his voice.

And so they carried on, no destination in mind. Brian found himself jumping at every sound. Every movement in the bushes and trees had his mind telling him that he was in danger, he flinched at any plant that brushed against his leg. It was exhausting, yet he couldn’t help it.

By the time night arrived, his head was pounding. All this stress was getting to him, but he had no idea what to do. He had to work on one thing at a time. There wasn’t much he could do about the increasing fear, but then again, there wasn’t much he could do about Roger either.

He sighed as they set up camp in the undergrowth, Roger helped him down with a painfully neutral touch before he seemed to rush away from Brian. The feeling his heart sinking rushed through Brian’s body, things couldn’t go on like this.

Brian at least had some idea of how to broach the subject. Roger had often been known to have fits of anger for days on end, as well as secluding himself away. As teens, Brian had gotten a bowl thrown at his head when he tried to comfort his friend. When Mrs Taylor was bandaging him up, she had told him some very useful advice on how to handle Roger’s temperament. She had said that, when he was in these moods, Roger didn’t want sympathy or pity, that it made him feel lesser and weak. Brian guessed that was understandable, he himself knew what it was like to feel weak and helpless, it was definitely not a feeling he would like to have again.

Brian hadn’t needed to use that information very much until now, Roger usually always stormed home and his mother or father would be the ones to console him.

Brian huddled into himself, shivering, it was bloody cold! He looked over to his companion, and as much as Brian hated that jacket, he couldn’t help but feel jealous. That thought put an idea in his head.

“Roger?” he asked quietly, he saw the man tense from where he was.

“What?” he replied sharply, Brian really hoped this worked.

“I’m just- I’m really cold.” He admitted, which seemed to make the resentment in Roger’s gaze lessen. Wordlessly, the other man crawled to Brian, removing his coat and lying next to him, draping the jacket over the both of them. Brian turned to face him, Roger’s whole body was tense, but Brian forced himself to speak.

“I was really scared the other day, Rog.” He said with an open honesty. From his limited experience, he had learned that talking about his own feelings helped Roger deal with his own.

Roger sighed softly, pursing his lips.

After a few moments, Brian realised Roger didn’t have anything to say to that. “We could have both been killed, and seeing you like that-”

“Like what?” Roger asked, his voice was carefully neutral.

Brian took a moment to think of how to word his response, mindful of the many ways Roger might react. “You just… you were bloody scary, Rog.” he trailed off at the end of his sentence, when the other man’s name left his mouth, it was barely a whisper.

Wrong thing to say.

Roger sat up, “How else should I have handled it? Should I have let him kill that girl and then us? Because at least what I did made a difference.” He spat, anger painting his face.

Brian’s previous plan had now gone out of the window. “Oh yeah? And what if you had missed? At least if we had stayed hidden we had a larger chance at surviving than you throwing a blasted rock at his head. If you’d had missed he would have killed both of us.”

“What are you trying to say? That I can’t hold myself in a fight? Because I’d do ten times better than you at the moment.” He sneered, gesturing to Brian’s bandaged leg.

Brian gave him a baffled look at this nonsensical response. “Roger, I mean no offence, but you aren’t exactly the fighting type.” Brian said jokingly, trying to alleviate the tension that was quickly rising.

The joke, however, was not received well. “Offence fucking taken! It is kill or be killed out here, Bri, get that through your thick skull.” 

“It doesn’t have to be that way. We’ve been out here for just over two weeks, stop acting like you know everything there is to know. We are both blind here.” He said. Reason didn’t usually work on Roger, but it was all he had left at this point.

Roger rolled his eyes, “Stop being so fucking naive. If you didn’t want this you should have just stayed at home.” The younger man spat, turning away in anger.

Brian‘s anger rose at that, he had abandoned everything he knew, and for what? For Roger to act like a childish idiot and insult him. “I chose to go out into this feral hell hole to comfort you, Roger. You would have never had the balls to go on your own and you know it.” he regretted the sentence as soon as it left his lips.

Roger sat up fully, his body was tense in anger. “Oh that’s fucking cheap! You forget Brian, if I hadn’t decided to become your friend, those kids would have made you break your silence with fucking screams!” Without thinking, Brian back handed his friend, breathing heavily through his nose. Roger looked back with a red cheek and a grim expression. “What’s wrong, did I hit a nerve?”

Deep down he knew roger didn’t mean what he was saying, that they had both just said all of these nasty things due to how tired and angry they both were. These things were far from his mind when he leaped on top of Roger, punching his face and ignoring the pain that came from his leg.

“You fucking arsehole! You know not to bring that shit up!” Angry tears threatened to fall, and his punches became weaker as they blurred his vision.

This gave Roger the opportunity to push Brian aside, making him hit a tree, grazing his back. Brian’s breathing was coming fast, his limbs had pins and needles a familiar wave of terror shock his body. His hands raised to his hair, grabbing at his scalp as he slowly rocked himself back and forth. Memories from his childhood came rushing back and he stared forward, unblinking. The tunnel vision was setting in, he had nothing to keep himself grounded, nothing to save him and nothing to pull himself from the panic that he was sinking into. He was shaking horribly now. His breath didn’t come to him for long seconds and when they did, they were released in violent coughs. There wasn’t enough oxygen going to his brain. He couldn’t feel his fingers or toes. This was it. He was sinking. He was sinking. He was-

“Brian. Where are you?” He jumped at the noise. “Brian, tell me where you are.” He tried to get enough breath to speak, making him slightly more lightheaded.

“The Out- outside. Forest.” He finally managed to say.

“Good. Now I need you to breathe for me.” Brian tried, but he was still gasping, his stomach convulsing. “Come on, Bri. In. and out. In. And out. You’re doing great.” His breathing became slightly more regulated, still irregular, but improving. “It’s okay. I’m sorry, Bri. I’m so, so sorry.” A cautious hand was placed on his shoulder, grounding him. With that, he closed his eyes. He took in deep, long breaths, feeling his pulse run through his body.

He was okay. He was fine. He hadn’t fainted. He was in a shitty situation but he was here. He was aware. Now that he was out of it, the last spark of anger in his body made him shrug off the hand on his shoulder. His body went limp as he felt the nearby warmth leave, the pain in his leg was also becoming apparent, though he didn’t think it was too bad.

What Roger had said hit home hard. It brought up memories that kept him awake even in his exhaustion. Memories of years of shy silence and bullies wanting to make him talk. His head pounded and his throat was raw. He was drifting between a state of consciousness and unconsciousness for some time, finally falling under when the warm and comforting weight of a coat was wrapped around his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not finishing this sooner. My new term of school has not been kind to my writing schedule (Seven hours of media homework due in three days?? really ???) I was also hit with a nice bout of writers block, I guess it makes sense for chapter thirteen.
> 
> Also, I promise I'm not going to write Roger like an annoying child like I've seen quite a few do. I have big plans for his character arc and how he will develop as a person. I swear he will be an interesting and enjoyable character. I have B I G plans. Also, what do you guys think about how Brian's character is developing, him being a mute as a child is definitely something I want to explore and expand on.
> 
> I hope none of you thought this fic was abandoned, I promise I will tell you in the unlikely event that I do abandon it, but even then, I will probably get someone to finish it for you guys.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Leaving comments will 100 percent give me more motivation to write and give you another chapter quicker than this one :^)


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